In 2008, the global superstar Beyoncé released an album called ‘Diva’, with the infamous song as the headline track.
Known for her beautiful voice, bold dance moves, show-stopping outfits, confidence and power, in ‘Diva’, Beyoncé sings the lyrics, “A diva is a female version of a hustler.”
When you hear the word ‘diva’, what do you think of? Do you connect with the idea of being a ‘hustler’, someone who makes things happen, takes actions others will not and works hard to achieve the goals you set out for yourself and others?
Do you desire to have more boldness, fearlessness and take more action in your life? Are you able to identify what you want, create a plan around it and take meaningful action towards it, or do you frequently find yourself in a battle, somewhat fearful, frozen and frustrated?
In multiple interviews, Beyoncé shares the motivation and intention behind the song and album ‘Diva’. She is vulnerable in sharing the impostor syndrome she faced in her personal journey and how she overcame her limiting beliefs and lack of confidence, in part, by creating an alter ego she called ‘Sasha Fierce’.
When Beyoncé was ready to get on stage, to perform her breathtaking shows, when she was preparing to enter the studio, when she was getting ready for the next interview and public appearance, the truth was that she did not feel and experience her situation in the way that we are all likely to have perceived her. She created the persona of ‘Sasha Fierce’; so that she could step boldly into these places and become the superstar that we all know her to be today. It was two years after releasing the album Diva in 2010, that Beyoncé announced that she no longer needed to have her created alter ego ‘Sasha Fierce’; she had become the very persona she had created and she was able to let Sasha go.
Somewhat reassuring, right?! If one of modern pop’s pin-ups of female power, exuberance and boldness faces the same fears we do, perhaps we can give ourselves some grace, relax a little and take a look at what she did to consider how we can step further into our alter ego and boldness.
What is an alter ego?
Let’s start with what the ‘ego’ is. The ‘ego’ is our sense of identification with our lives, our sense of self; it is the baseline of experiences that we have and remember. The ‘ego’ forms our personality, conscious decision making and action. It is the way that we are known and identified to ourselves and others.
Our ‘alter ego’ is our alternate self, an extension of this self-image, that we form as a distinction to our original personality, to express our creativity, individuality and another element of our personality. It can be formulated consciously or sub-consciously to support the way that we want to show up, or something we set out to achieve.
Just as Clark Kent became Superman and was able to save people, cities and worlds, what could happen if we took time to cultivate and design our alter ego to support the big, audacious goals we desire to achieve? Take inspiration from the actions of other well-known characters who have been vocal in sharing about their alter egos. Look at the characters of Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj, David Bowie, Eminem, Bono. All of these well-known superstars share on how they created alter egos to support their expression in the world today. We all face limiting beliefs, challenges, pain and set-backs.
The power lies in what we do to overcome and shape the reality that we desire, rather than be consumed by the overwhelm and perceived negativity.
Take time out this week to design your alter ego. Here are some steps that may support this process:
- Define your goals, know what you want and why you want an alter ego.
- What would success look like? What would it look like to have this personality? Set out the vision of your alter ego’s personality clearly.
- Create a distinct image of your personality.
- List out all of the ideal characteristics of your alter ego.
- Give your alter ego a name and fill out all of the smaller details
- Practice, practice practice! Put into action the alter ego you have designed
Anchoring
Similarly to creating an alter ego, anchoring is a technique that causes us to favour one piece of information more heavily than another. Often referenced in use in sales and product introduction, anchoring supports us physiologically to take us back to a certain place; a phrase, a belief, a moment that over-rides other data that came around that time.
As a boat that sets sail and is required to drop its anchor deep into the ocean bed to bring itself and all that it carries to safety, so the anchors we create enable us to remain rooted and focused on what is helpful for us to move forward with, letting go of all that does not serve us.
A few years ago, I recall sitting on the sofa with a dear friend and mentor. I had become a little over-whelmed about something and was having a ‘wobbly’ moment of self-doubt. He reached up to the shelf, placed a batman figurine in my hand and encouraged me to think like future me, think like the person I had shared with him, only moments before, that I wanted to become. I can distinctly remember the shape, the feel, the mould of the Batman figure in my hand, the imprint of the sofa on my back, his presence and belief in me. Whilst I do not have a personal attachment to batman, when I am having moments of self-doubt, my mind often comes back to this moment and am reminded of who I am and where I am choosing to go. This moment impacted me, it anchored me. I smile when I remember it, as simple as it may seem, it allows me to move forward in strength and confidence, feeling self-assured and ready to conquer.
Have you had moments of anchoring like this? How could you create positive anchors to move you forward and take you to into the positive action?
Taking bold actions that will transform your life
Having clarity on the place we want to be is the starting place for enabling us to take the bold actions that will guide us forward and change our lives. Our actions will always show us who we are, they will show us what we value and what is important to us. Being clear on what we desire to create is the first step to transformation.
I believe that life itself has a way of showing us who we are; the universe gives us experiences, circumstances and events that we will, in turn have to respond to. Some situations we can control and we plan for, whilst others can take us by surprise. We can create ideas and beliefs around how we believe we will respond in certain circumstances. Yet it is not until we are faced with these circumstances that we truly see who we are, what we value and what really matters to us.
I truly learned how important family was to me eighteen months ago, whilst living in Ibiza. One week, not long after moving to the island, my sister called me to share the good news that she was pregnant with her first child. Elated at the prospect of being an auntie, we celebrated together and her and her husband began enjoying the phenomenal news. It was two months after this that I received another call from her sharing the tragic news that the lump she had found in her breast was actually stage three breast cancer and her diagnosis was terminal. My sister began treatment swiftly and gave birth to her beautiful son River in the September of that year. I moved back to the UK within weeks of my nephew being born. I did not need to work out my values or ask myself any questions around what was the most important choice in this situation. Being beside my sister as she went through her cancer journey, supporting her in her last months on earth was all that I knew I needed to do. Life will present you with situations, often challenging and painful situations, giving you room to respond to and make choices that will show you who you are.
So how can we take the actions to unleash our diva and step boldly into what we truly desire?
- Be clear on what you want. Set out a vision and be bold enough to let go and let life do the rest.
- Allow all situations and circumstances to become part of the artistic tapestry of your life. Rather than judging yourself and the choices you have made, be intentional to take the lessons from everything you experience and create with them.
- Spend time cultivating your inner confidence, listen to your internal voice and be mindful about what you say to yourself.
- Get into the habit of saying yes to the things that scare you. Our actions will show us who we are and will become the new normal once we keep stepping out of our comfort zone.
Unleash your diva! It is you who awaits you!
