At The Best You Expo, supercoach author and presenter Michael Neill explained that it’s how things look to us, not us that’s important
Support and encouragement are part of a coach’s arsenal to help clients move towards their goals, but when it comes to changing behaviours it often takes challenging questions to disturb the status quo.
This was the premise of transformative supercoach Michael Neill who kicked off the first day of The Best You Expo with his keynote speech in the Great Minds Seminar Room at London’s ExCeL. He opened the session by speaking about the ‘two selves’ that live in each of us.
“There’s the little one with a name, a personality and a desire to impress,” he explained. “Then there’s the big you, the ‘self’ that was there before your personality was formed, the ‘spiritual self’.”
Neill went on to describe the infinite potential that the “formless you” has before the image of the self forms.
“It gets lost along the way,” he said.
“We are called names by people and we take on the individual ‘me’ that is projected on to us. Yet it’s tiring to be the image that people have about us, and nature holds the infinite potential for each of us.”
Neill explained how we tend to bury this natural self so deeply and yet this is what has the potential to help us to achieve our goals.
“We reject the spiritual,” Neill expanded, “but if we’re lucky we get back to our infinite potential and start functioning as we are designed to be. We were created to be part of nature rather than a force within it. At this level, perfect intelligence does all the lifting and things start to happen effortlessly and in flow with nature – it’s the universal mind at play.”
Focusing on the universal mind, Neill explained how most people think that experience is coming at them from outside, but that in fact
it’s actually coming through them. “We have thought in our consciousness,” he said.
“Thinking the right thoughts at the right time isn’t co-incidental, it’s us working in harmony with nature. Contrast this with too much thinking about our thinking, and it’s like trying to improve the wrong guy. All we need to do is open up to a deeper level, and it only takes a moment to change our mindset.”
Neill explained how the shift in thinking can mean real and meaningful results for us. “Think about ‘key performance indicators – KPIs – which measure behaviour unique to a particular challenge,
that is objective and observable. The KPI measures the effect of behaviour.
“Contrast this with my ‘universal performance indicators’ or UPIs – these are metrics which capture genuine enthusiasm, fresh thinking, insight and goodwill. UPIs are internal, not stuff that happens to us and also it’s not up to us to determine our response.
“We need to allow our state of mind to be a thermometer, not a thermostat. Enthusiasm is natural, and it’s natural to love everyone; goodwill is natural – it’s a thermometer reading.”
Focusing on happiness, Neill explained that when we live in tune with the universe, it is far easier to bend and flow with good and bad things that happen to us.
“Life doesn’t have to be perfect for us to be happy,” he explained. “We live in the feeling of our thinking not external influences. We don’t have to care what we think – we can’t stop the thought but we don’t have to believe it. We are innately resilient and it’s easier to get back on the horse than stop trying to fall off.”
Neill continued to explain that we need to have a better relationship with fear. “Fear is one of the experiences we can create with thought,” he said. “Yet scary thinking comes and goes. Fear is no more of a big deal than any other feeling. It doesn’t mean anything unless we let it.” He concluded by urging us to be more awake to life.
“Quiet is the space inside which noise happens. We’re so focused on hearing the noise we don’t hear the silence. There are so many thoughts we don’t hear the quiet and the natural within us.”