Hardship and suffering don’t define us, says Amanda Hart whose story aims to help others move beyond despair
From the age of four I learned how to survive a harrowing upbringing when I was taken from my mother and was suddenly thrust into a world
of hatred and violence.
Up to that point I had only experienced love, happiness and protection so my instincts always drove me to seek that in any way I could.
At first the only solace was my garden which I was thrown out into often as punishment. That garden was my safe haven as I drew on the gentleness and calm of that natural environment. It was also full of animals so these became my friends.
Later, finding good friendships and mentors were my salvation to keep going when the days became a living hell. These I believe were the fundamentals I needed to help me intuit what was right and wrong in my world as I tried to make sense of the craziness in my life.
When I finally managed to leave the ‘house of hell’ (as I named it), naturally I thought I would attract a life of happiness. To the contrary, I eventually discovered that, regardless, the programmes I had learned through my negative upbringing in my subconscious would constantly attract more hell that was to come.
As a young adult, my life was then a rollercoaster of loss, harrowing relationships and abuse on a grand scale. I was too young and naive to understand why it was repeatedly happening to me as no matter how hard I tried to lead a good life and attract good people to me, I seemed to be attracting the opposite.
No matter what I tried to do it just seemed to get worse. I was a very angry young woman and felt the world was a cruel place and I was plagued with bad luck. It seemed I was being punished though I had no understanding why as I was just an innocent four-year-old when my journey of dire circumstances begun.
It was only when I got married to my first husband that I was forced to look at my life from a different perspective when he ran off with my daughter, just before her fourth birthday. It seemed at the time that life was playing some cruel trick on me as it seemed like history was repeating itself.
I had no idea at the time why it was happening all over again but my world plunged into the depths of despair and I embarked on a destructive path of self-loathing.
It couldn’t have got any worse as I was also being stalked by a violent man with an obsession for me. I felt like I was in some horror movie and many times during this period felt the only way out was to take my life and to end all the suffering.
In the back of my mind though was the constant nagging feeling that I had to keep doing whatever I could to find my daughter. This was the only spark of light that was left in my world.
Every day I searched for answers to try and find the root cause that was behind my bad luck and path of destruction. I had all but given up with getting help from the authorities as my circumstances always just came under the radar.
I married again and had two more children and always knew my daughter would return to me one day. It was when my second marriage was suffering and I contracted meningococcal septicemia that finally I found the answers of how I could remove the punishing programmes that were causing my destruction.
I became an intuitive consultant over 20 years ago when I became aware of how I was able to see beyond the every day physical reality of people’s problems and help them overcome their own programmes through working with their subconscious mind.
I discovered the answers whilst in A & E in hospital and have never looked back.
I wrote The Guys Upstairs about my journey to help others find the shortcut to overcoming adversity so other people don’t have to spend a lifetime of suffering.
I believe we all have the answers to help ourselves in dire situations which is what
I teach people today. Once discovered, people can then take back their power and align themselves to a place of certainty, hope and faith, that solutions are around them.
I certainly believe we have a course paved for us in life but it certainly doesn’t mean we have to suffer continuously to find our best health, right relationships and the life we desire.
Finding our authentic selves is the most empowering experience we can achieve in life. Only then can we truly find the strength and courage needed to guide us safely and navigate our path in life.
Today my life is a rich source of loving relationships and a life I always once thought was just a dream.
I hope my book inspires people to know that when it comes to choice they will always choose to dance… and I guess you’ll just have to read the book to see what that that truly means.
Amanda Hart is a therapist and author of The Guys Upstairs.