Our world is very busy; everybody is rushing all over the place and never has time for anything. Why are we here? Are we here to do things that are good for other people? Or are we here to enjoy life and make the most of it, in the way it’s good for us?
When you set your goals in life – that’s providing you have any at this stage – you should organise your activities around that, and you should stop doing anything that is wasting your time and not helping you achieve where you want to be. Ask the question, is this going to get me closer to my overall goals? Is it helping me achieve where I want to be?
Of course it’s easier said than done – I know – as there are always obstacles in our way that stop us doing what’s best for us and for our family.
So, your focus in life should be on how you can create space in your daily activities, which then allows you to collect your thoughts, work on your ideas, and bring the spark back into your daily routine that will help shape your life. By not allowing this creative space to create your thoughts for planning, then you will just bounce around different people’s activities rather than following your path.
This is important, especially if you are going through a difficult time of your life; such as divorce, getting out of an abusive relationship, change of career or grieving after a loss, just to mention a few. How would you possibly deal with such a tough time if you don’t have your own space to be you? – allowing yourself to process your thoughts on how to deal with challenging times like these.
Here are some tips on how you can start creating some space for yourself:
- Look at your day and see where you can perhaps de-clutter your life. Can you re-prioritise? Would it be possible to delegate or get rid of some of your tasks?
People usually say “I don’t have time for this and that” – well make time for it. We all have the same hours in a day and other people are managing it. The reason why they can is because they have their daily time management figured out and the best possible ways to approach a situation or issue. So, diarise and you will have your time management figured out too. - Say it out loud to yourself – I’m doing this! – and create a realistic plan for yourself. Believe in your abilities and let your passion drive you to achieve your goals.
- Don’t try and multi-task, focus on one thing at the time and finish it, rather than starting something new and not finishing anything at all. That will just set you up for failure.
- And now – the most important thing – put a space in your diary that is for you to do nothing! Your own time, to enjoy whatever you like the best. Treat yourself to an hour for re-energising and accomplishing more with your next tasks.
How do you feel about that?
Once you have created this space for yourself you should be ready for change. Without welcoming and opening space for change in your life, it’s just never going to happen. You cannot lie to yourself and say “Oh yes, I want to change things” – when you actually don’t believe in it from the bottom of your heart. This might be a small adjustment to your life or it might be a significant life change that will impact on other parts of your life too, for example work, family etc. But you have got to really want it, otherwise, you might as well just not waste your time and energy on it.
A new job, career, new life, returning to work, getting out of a relationship, making a difference for your children…
At the beginning it might be a struggle as you can’t get your head around it and you are still hurting, grieving, adjusting to your life changes, whatever that might be.
You are playing with the idea of “I’m going to be alright” pretending that you are strong when actually inside you are probably very scared and have all sorts of fear factors do deal with. The outside world will think – yes, you are ok – but inside you are screaming!
Occasionally, you are contemplating going back to the past, which you know it’s not the right decision for you but you cannot see the new life ahead of you just yet. So, communication is key in this situation and this might be the time you need to ask for help from friends, family and people you never thought of being able to help you. You’ll see, the more you talk and express your needs the more support will come your way. It will also trigger your thoughts with a different approach to your issues, changes and problems.
This is the kind of distraction that you need to get back on track with your plans, with your life and will help you figure out your purpose in life again.
By just doing a little bit every day… one step towards your goal will make you feel better and better every day. It will be an achievable target with specific tasks with the above mentioned diarised “You” time to appreciate your success of achievement.
I used to think that I would never make it through the rough period of time, and even three months seemed like an eternity, however, before I could notice, time passed by very quickly and I became aware of how much better I felt.
“I have spent most of my time on worrying about things that never happened.” Mark Twain
So stop worrying and start your life and live it the way you want it. Make those changes, be passionate, set your goals today and welcome change.
Kate Varvedo
