Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Susan Armstrong, professional speaker, author and trainer brings us five ways to break free of the invisible prison we keep ourselves in.
It’s taken a long time to dismantle the prison I kept myself in, but it’s been worth it. My life is more wonderful today than I could ever imagine. All I had to do was identify my own faulty thinking and release myself from the invisible prison of my own making. What I have discovered since embarking on this journey within is that we all suffer these same faulty thought processes to some degree. We all keep ourselves locked in our own invisible prison and if we could just re-wire our thinking in our inside world, then our outside world will follow.
In my case, I learned two misguided lessons at a very early age. I learned that the greatest sin of all was to upset another human being and in order for people to like me, I had to be “perfect”. Those two lessons kept me in a constant state of worry about pleasing others. They drained my self-esteem and left me with unhealthy coping skills that would rule my life for the next 30 years.
We allow messages from the past to control our thinking about the future. We all carry messages, reflections of ourselves, delivered by others: the perfectionist parent, the friend who said you were not pretty enough, or the first boyfriend who made you believe you weren’t good enough. Every negative message impacts on our self-image.
Of course these negative messages were not intended to purposely ruin your life. Chances are they were misguided attempts to make you behave or conform to some ideal standard. Whatever the reason, the problem is we took those damaging comments as truth and believed them. If we still believe them, we have to stop.
If this is making you wonder about your own subconscious messages, then good. You should try to identify the messages you carry around because they are incorrectly internalised. We create what we believe. I believed I was worthless, so every time something went wrong in my life I took it as proof that I was worthless. I was perpetuating a self-fulfilling prophecy. And we all do this. Whatever your negative messages are, instead of looking for proof that they’re true, look for proof that they’re false. Before you go to bed at night, take a few minutes and reflect back on your day. Instead of obsessing about all of the things you think you did wrong, focus on the things you did right. Acknowledge the errors, fix them, learn from them, but focus on all of the positive aspects of the day and your ability to move forward. You can’t get rid of nagging negative messages overnight but you can start to replace them with positive ones.
We teach people how to treat us and we don’t always realise we’re doing it. We teach spouses, friends, colleagues and even our children how to treat us. I have a friend who provides a perfect example. When she wants something done around the house she asks once and after the third time, does it herself. What has her partner learned? That if he doesn’t do it, she will. This leaves her feeling upset and angry because he appears to not listen or care.
And we do other people’s thinking for them. “Oh, I can’t apply for that promotion or open my own business because I’m not smart, experienced or educated enough…” How many times do you let your thoughts and beliefs about your own abilities stand in the way of your success? How many times do you allow the negative messages to provide more weight in decision making than the positive ones. The only true failure is the failure to try.
Years of negative thoughts and beliefs create behaviour patterns that are sometimes hard to break. How do you change this? You start to develop a clear picture of who you are and what you are capable of. Envision yourself freed from negativity and defeatist beliefs. Visualise yourself succeeding and take action. The Universe rewards action… You will find that once you take action, no matter how small, you start to see change. This is how you release yourself from your invisible prison. This is how you stop being sick and tired. You can have anything you want in this life; the only thing that’s standing in your way is you!
You can visit www.susanarmstrongspeaks.com for more free information on how to transform your life now!