Each February comes Valentines Day. Best-selling Happiness author Sophie Keller says the day is time for both singles and couples to think about what love means to them …
If you’re single and looking for love, remember, there are 7 billion people on the planet and that means there’s someone out there for you. No matter what your age, the cards are always shuffling.
It’s important to enjoy being single. Some people think their life will start when they meet somebody. Instead of thinking in that way, fill your time with fun things that you’re passionate about. Enjoy doing courses, classes and hobbies. Go out with people and have a great time. After all, you won’t be single forever. Make the most of the freedom single life offers!
Be confident about waiting. There’s no rush. Take your time to improve and develop. Because if you have unresolved issues, you’re going to magnetize people to you who respond to those issues in some way. Then, when you change and move on, if their attraction to you was based on something that wasn’t really you in the first place, you’re going to leave them behind.
Make sure you’re evolving while you’re single, do personal development trainings, go to therapy if you feel you need it. Do whatever you need to transform as a person, because the more you drop your masks and armour, the more likely you are to attract the perfect person.
Find your passions and follow those in classes too. It might be photography or art or languages, or anything else. It’s not that you’re filling in time while you wait for the person of your dreams. These new experiences also make you attractive. Your motional state is better when you’ve actively engaged. You’re more interesting and sexier.
You meet someone and say, “I’ve trained in this and I went and saw this” – and they see a passion for life, a passion for learning. They don’t have to be into the same things, but they see the love of life – and that’s always something to respond to!
When you meet someone who’s right for you, it’s like you’ve come home. Every cell in your body will feel that this is the right person to continue the next stages of your life journey with. So make sure that every cell says “yes” before you commit more deeply. Once you’re in that loving relationship, one of the keys to making it work is to LISTEN to each other. If they’re mad with you, there’s always a reason why. If you really want to be with this person until you’re both 90, then both of you need to make sure that you acknowledge each other’s desires. The key is to bring out the best in each other and as long as you do that you can go the distance.
Love is difficult to define, and it’s true that some people become dependent on someone, and think this is love. But love feels different from everything that’s gone before. When you meet someone who’s right for you, it’s like you’ve come home.
Make sure you do little things for each other. Make them a cup of tea, or rub their feet, or buy them chocolates out of the blue.
If you want someone to do something for you – do it for them. Show them your love. You’re not ‘working’ at your relationship, so to speak, as work can have a heavy connotation for some people. I like to say that you’re ‘playing’ at it. So keep your life varied. Go to a tango class together. Watch movies in bed. Go for a bike ride to the beach. That’s the sort of playfulness that will keep you together.
Remember, you can change someone’s behaviour, like asking them to put the toilet seat down or getting them to wash up a bit more, that sort of thing, but you cannot change who they are. What you’ve got is what you’ve got.
Make the right choice. My advice is to go for someone who’s really sweet natured, open to growing, with a wicked sense of humour. Remember what I said about the bigger picture? Later in life, you’ll appreciate those qualities. And obviously, going for someone you’re sexually attracted to is important, too – but make sure kind, open and fun are on the list! You will go through ups and downs together and a good sense of humour can really pull you through!
To sum up – enjoy life and find someone to enjoy it with. It really is that simple! If you want to find out more about Sophie Keller and the ‘How Happy is’ books & brand go to www.howhappyis.com
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