We all want to be happy. Gillian Jones gives real and practical advice to achieve that goal.
I thought I would start with a very important question – a simple question, but one I want you to really think about and, more importantly, answer with absolute honesty. Are you happy? I am not talking about temporary happiness, such as the type that happens when an old friend drops in with a bottle of wine and you laugh about the good times till you nearly cry. I am talking about a permanent state of happiness – a state that comes from loving life, loving yourself and feeling good about your circumstances.
Of course there are always ups and downs. We come across problems every day that change our mood and state, but do you generally wake up in the morning feeling joyful about your life? You would be surprised how many people don’t. Their feelings range from bored or dissatisfied to desperately unhappy, but they are stuck in a place where they don’t feel empowered to make the necessary changes. Those who languish in this state often suffer from low self esteem. If we don’t feel good about ourselves, we often feel we don’t deserve happiness.
So, why not take that first step today towards making your life the one that you want? Take an hour and go somewhere quiet where you can just sit and think. How are you feeling? How happy are you really? And if the answer isn’t a resolutely positive one, then what would it take to make you happy? Is part of the reason you feel down attributed to the fact that you don’t feel in control of your life? Do you feel that others control your timetable, your behaviour, or even your feelings? Control is one of the key things that human beings yearn for, and when we feel we have no control it is easy for feelings of helplessness to envelope us until finally we submit to those who are controlling the situation.
Just taking a little control can be the key to helping you feel good about yourself, growing stronger and more able to cope with life. So let’s make a pact now. You only have this one life, and you deserve to be happy, so take a small step today.
Think of something that would make you feel happy. It might be help at home, it might be going out with friends one night a week, or taking a class. It may even be not doing something. Perhaps you have always felt resentful that you had to spend Sundays with your in-laws, or that you always went where your friends wanted to go, or did favours for other people that you really didn’t want to do.
Choose one thing and experiment – see how taking some control makes you feel and do something for yourself. Exercise your rights. You have the right to express your wants and needs – you are equal to every other person on this planet. Do something you really want to do. And if that works, don’t stop at one thing! Make today the day when you start to live a life by design as opposed to participating in the life that others shape for you.
Top Tips for Loving Life
1. Give yourself permission to be happy – why not, it is your life? If people choose to be miserable around you there is no reason for you to join them.
2. Analyse what needs to happen to make you happy, write a list and do one of the things on it today.
3. Be firm about people who drain your happiness. Talk to them about what you want and if they can’t give it to you get them out of your life.
4. Tell other people how happy you are and how great you feel – your brain will search for the state of happiness and give it to you.
5. Each morning when you wake up set your “state” to what you want it to be. Write a “to be” list next to your “to do” list (Today I want to be energised and confident….)
6. Take time to enjoy your happiness – when things are good avoid thinking about what next, tomorrow just be in the moment and thoroughly immerse yourself in that wonderful feeling.
For more tips and blogs visit www.emotionalindependence.co.uk
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