When you pursue a dream or goal, inevitably you will run into people who doubt your abilities, question whether the dream is possible, and even encourage you to settle. When you share a dream with people who infuse doubt, it causes you to second guess yourself. It derails your dreams and puts you back on the path to mediocrity.
Some people see their life’s works as a job. Others see it as a calling or what author Robert Greene refers to as “Your Life’s Task.” The second while ultimately more difficult leads to long term fulfillment and happiness. When you ignore your calling, you may get the temporary approval of your doubters and critics in the short term. But you’ll resent them in the long term because they caused you to give up on what really mattered to you.
As a part of doing work that is so publicly exposed, I get a balance of people who love my work, people who criticize everything I do, and people who really hate everything I stand for. Energy vampires are all around us. Sometimes they come disguised as people with the best of intentions. The key is learning to figure out who they are and eliminating them or completely ignoring them. In the brilliant words of Scott Stratten “You’re not the Jackass whisperer”
Knowing When to Consider Feedback
Feedback is important, but don’t let it determine every course of action. Zig Ziglar said something brilliant. “Have you ever noticed when somebody says they want to tell you something for your own good, it’s rarely good. I wonder what the impact would be if it was actually good? Consider feedback, but make sure you trust your instinct more. As Danielle Laporte once told me “Ignore your instinct at your own peril.”
There are hidden dangers in other people’s expectations. When you live your life according to them, you’re not being true to yourself. Coincidentally that is one of the top 5 regrets of the dying. When I asked Julien Smith “what separates people who achieve at the highest levels from the ones who don’t, he summed it up with one word: GRIT. Or if you want a more in depth explanation, they go past the point where most people would quit.
In the face of energy vampires, critics, and the voices of doubt, most people will quit. The temporary torture of dealing with those things is just too painful for the long term reward that will come when the energy vampires disappear, the critics sing your praises, and the voices of doubt finally shut up.
So don’t share your dreams with anybody who infuses an ounce of doubt.
“This post first appeared on Skool of Life.”
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