Do you regularly wonder how some people are overly confident? The type that walks head held high, smiling and charismatically different? Ever wondered what’s different about them, wishing you were similar? Benjamin Bonetti gives you three tips that will change your life.
Who are you? Knowing who you are is the key to fully understanding and achieving high levels of confidence, in knowing the “true you” you actually become perfectly aligned with your central nervous system, which, in turn produces little or no conflict with your deeper responsive system, and thus changes the behaviours retrospectively.
Knowing the true you is the most valuable tool a person can have…
Confidence can be referred to and described as many things, however in my world it is far simpler; it’s not being nervous in challenging situations, it’s being “true to you” and having valued purpose. In possessing these two
personality traits opens up choices, it’s these choices that are useful in awkward situations, verbal confrontations or general conflict.
For me, confidence is about standing on your own and having the self-respect and understanding that you are allowed to be “you”, not necessarily a different extroverted character, but simply a better version of the person you are right now. Increase confidence in three simple steps.
Step 1 – Stop Talking, Start Doing…
Internal conversations can be both positive and negative depending on your ability to control the linguistics you use, being in the present and talking about the “can’ts”, only strengthens and confirms your inability to have the confidence you desire. In this instance someone who lacks confidence will usually talk in the negative context.
“I can’t do this. What happens if things go wrong? What will they think of me? I will be made to look like a fool. I failed at that before.” Sound familiar?
When you change those internal conversations you change the whole “behaviour” of the thinking process – thus changing the reception via your senses, and the internal and external projection of that event.
By a simple alteration to the “words you use”, makes it harder for the conversation to be anything than positive. Start living in the present moment today. Take time to consciously control the internal conversations and words you use. If you slip into negative language patterns gently bring yourself back to conscious control.
Step 2 – Avoid Shying Away…
This tip is about immersion; it’s about putting yourself in the situations that you would have usually avoided and not been the “true you”. Lets face it, no one actually cares if you have an embarrassing twitch, mess up a presentation or say something you shouldn’t. People have their own issues, faults and differences. Yes, even the overly confident people have their faults.
This step is about reducing the “power” you have installed with the opinion of another; especially those who fail to play a fundamental role within your life. The harder you attempt to “fit in” with the rest of the world, the more obstacles you will face. Whether it’s your opinions, emotions, feelings, words or choice, avoid wasting your thoughts on what another would think of what you’re doing.
No apologies. No explanation. Just be.
Step 3 – Be The True You…
This is similar to the previous step, but hear me out. When you honour who you really are, you will do things like dress in a certain way, eat a certain food or even laugh at something alone. This in turn makes you feel comfortable, and that produces a level of confidence that exceeds the previous step.
By honouring who you are and what you truly prefer in life, you’re creating an environment for confidence to grow. You’re allowing yourself to be comfortable and express yourself in the way, which is true to your values and beliefs. In turn, you attract the right people, opportunities and generally more into your life.
When the right people and opportunities come along, you feel confident because things seem easy. They work for you and your personality, thus supporting the “true you”.
Don’t ever pretend to be someone or something you’re not! Just be you. You are unique and this is a fantastic asset.
Read more by Benjamin Bonetti here: http://www.benjaminbonetti.com
- Man of the people – Benjamin Bonetti - August 21, 2015
- 3 Steps To Supreme Confidence by Benjamin Bonnettiti - March 3, 2014