I used to say: “You win one battle, then the second, then the third, and then you win the war.” (Theoretically of course! – your battle with life for survival)
So the question to ask is: Are you happy? What is that you need?
Do you need to get out of a relationship? Have you thought that “Life must be better than this…?”
“I used to be so happy and now nothing makes me happy” “Why is this happening to me?”
These questions came up in my thoughts a many years ago too.
You perhaps used to be well known for your laughter, and people, friends and family just loved what an optimistic, happy and joyful person you were. Then it all stopped and you wondered; is this adulthood, or do you really have to change something as you are just not that person anymore. You stopped being you;
- You become this person who just does the daily job,
- Your job is your shelter from real life, a hideaway place,
- Routinely see to the kids, (perhaps)
- Occasionally have a few smiles with friends,
- You talk less and less to your partner,
- You are people pleasing and trying not to upset anyone
There is a common saying, that “life is hard”, but surely it shouldn’t be this hard? Something’s got to change…
What is that small step that you can take today towards your happiness? It doesn’t need to be major but as long as you can say: I have done “xyz” today and that was worth it as it took me closer to my goal.
Tips: How to start making small changes to your everyday life to become happier
- Create space for “you” time – bath, exercise, nice coffee, read a book, etc.
- Start scheduling in to see some friends for coffee or a catch up
- De-clutter your life from unnecessary events, objects, people
- Set yourself some realistic goals
- Take one step at a time
- Reward yourself for achievements
- Learn to say “no” to things that you really don’t want to do
- Make sure that you have enough sleep
This is just the beginning, but as you start doing these small adjustments you will see the new person you will become.
Do you remember events/situations from when you were a child and you really, really wanted something and you managed to achieve it? This is because you were so passionate about it that you only focused on your one and only goal (at the time) and your determination drove you to succeed. Nothing stood in your way. I guess this is when we can say “Your dream comes true”
This is exactly the way it should be right now with your personal and work orientated goals. You should want them so much that it’s easy to get there with your values and passion driving it. That way you can take control of your life and it won’t be so difficult and you feel that you are fighting against the whole world.
Easy isn’t it? Probably you are smiling to yourself now, because it’s really not that easy sometimes. Life always gets all sorts of obstacles in our way. Sometimes it’s actually you who stops you getting there. It’s your mindset, self-belief and self-sabotage that stops you to from reaching your goals. How silly is that?!
Of course it is very complicated, when you are full of negative thoughts, going through difficult times, trying to balance life with work and on top of that, you might have children who need extra attention during this period. So asking you to have a positive mindset is rather challenging.
However, if you can set a mantra to yourself, that will help. Especially, if you are able to create that space for yourself which then allows you to have the time to think, without interruption is the best way to focus on more positive thinking.
“Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality.” Robin S. Sharama
So some of these mantras might be; “I’m going to be happy starting today”, “I’m going to apply to that university course and change my carrier” or “I’m going to earn £60K per annum”, “I’m going to be successful with my business”, “I’m going to start a new life with my children in our own home, and I’m going to achieve this by xyz”
Set your mind back to that child who you used to be, it’s still you, that ambition and drive is still inside you with the same values – you just have to waken it.
Spend some time to awaken your thoughts and search for what you really want form life as you only have one shot at it. Life is too short and you don’t want to waste that precious time and wake up one day with regrets.
Whatever you need to do, get the courage, set your mind to the task and go for it…
Kate Varvedo – Your Coach for Life (www.yourcoachforlife.co.uk)
